Soft General

3 min read
Jun 25, 2021
SoftGeneral: change the story you tell yourself

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,” once said Henry Ford (the one who founded the Ford Motor Company). He just stated that whatever we say to ourselves is true because it defines our reality. What else are we saying to ourselves? “It’s too late for me”, “I am not that good for this”, “Not sure it’s gonna work for me”, “Hey, I’m not you” – you name it. 

The truth is all these thoughts have nothing to do with our real opinion, striving, and desire. But since we’re sociable human beings, we’re soaked with fears and the mindset of our network, parents, friends, colleagues, etc. 

We’re afraid of being judged, giving it a try, standing out from the crowd, and drawing attention (what if it won’t work out?). What’s more, we’re afraid of taking responsibility and recognizing that our life, achievements, and failures are the results of decisions, actions, or inaction. It’s also about our habits that lead to a concrete life scenario. 

In other words, It’s like a bucket of crabs. It’s always easier to sit in a bucket and keep your head down, reassuring yourself that only the offenders or the lucky ones achieve great results. But not me. And at the moment when one crab tries to get out, then all the others will grab it and try to drag it down.

Our beliefs are the projection of our world, and as a result, the created reality. And it is not difficult to guess what results this chosen position of infantilism and inaction leads to. By the way, not making a choice is also a choice coming from the unconscious and made from a childish position. 

What’s the most popular thinking against our personal growth?

You won’t believe it but it’s “I can do it on my own!” Before turning to coach sessions, clients are often overcome with doubts and fears. A lot of people live with this conviction “I can do it on my own”, “Asking for help means being weak”, “I’m good the way I am”. But look at this from another angle. 

Ok, you CAN do it on your own, but will it be your best decision? In a few weeks of coaching, you will walk a path that could take several years and you will be several steps higher! Isn’t your goal to achieve progress and personal growth? So why not make it faster!

“Asking for help means being weak”.  If you feel you cannot deal with something on your own, it’s absolutely normal to reach out to a pro. You already have some of the answers. The task of the coach is to help find tangible solutions. 

“I’m good the way I am”. Good is the enemy of great. Would you like to have ‘great’? With a coach, it’s easy to break things down and work out a clear roadmap toward a goal. But the most essential thing here is you’ll find the pace you are comfortable with when following this roadmap. This will help find inner resources and get a breakthrough.

Now, what’s another life scenario I can live in? 

After figuring out how our wrong convictions work, let’s make a decision to change the negative narrative we’re saying to ourselves and about ourselves. So, let’s try this: my position is to take responsibility, try again and not to stop, figure out what I want every step of the way. I do not have timeframes, I’m allowed everything. I can do all things, and yes, I might be afraid but it’s not a cutoff factor not to do it!

Or, if you still cannot sort things out on your own, think this: I’m going to ask for help. Asking for it is not a weakness, it’s a sign of strength and a strong will not give up on yourself. It’s a sign of self-awareness, which is the first step toward growth and success.

So, where are you now in your life? Are you stuck or moving forward? Do you feel like having wrong beliefs but cannot deal with them all alone? Join SoftGeneral’s engineering team, turn to one of our life coaches, get rid of limiting beliefs, and go to another level.